Book Review - The Trouble With Hating You

The Trouble With Hating You by Sanji Patel is a contemporary romance. It takes the classic enemies to lovers trope and throws it into a modern day setting within the Indian community in Houston. It was the chosen book in February for the theglossbookclub.com and created quite a response within my local club.

First Impressions

“My Mom absolutely loved the crap out of WhatsApp. She didn't know how to text, but she could do anything on WhatsApp - including sending me a half dozen pictures of the guy she and my dad had chosen for me. ”

I love a good first line in a book, and this one certainly got my attention. It set the tone for a book that would be fun, cheeky and down to earth. Unfortunately, those aren't the words I'd choose to describe this book after reading the whole thing.

Love in an Indian climate

If you've read my post on #BlackHistoryMonth then you'll know that I am a big believer in the importance of reading books written by authors of different cultural and racial backgrounds. This book fits the bill, on paper. But in reality I was disappointed with the portrayal of the Indian community and modern Indian culture in this book. And it would seem I'm not alone.

While the book receives almost 4 stars on Goodreads and 4+ stars on Amazon, when you dive into the reviews it is clear to see that many women in the Indian community are not happy with the way they have been portrayed. They call out several cultural and religious inaccuracies, with one person stating

"It's like "5 most common stereotypes about Indians" was googled and somehow added in the book.

Also, their were many errors about Hinduism, I'm not even a religious person and still was able to identify all the wrong things, because it was that basic."

Personally I don't know enough about Indian culture or Hinduism to be able to comment on these alleged inaccuracies. However, I do find it concerning that such potential mistakes are being read by so many who will take the word of the author as gospel based only on her name and appearance. Another common theme among reviews was the phrase "I loved learning more about the Indian culture." Eeek!

But it's ok because - I'm a feminist!

“If I wanted to answer to a man for the rest of my life, I'd just live with my father”

Our book club is best described as, well, relaxed. We're basically a group of friends who like to meet up, drink coffee, eat food and discuss books (as well as TikTok, relationships and men). So when several of our group hadn't found time to read this book before our meet up it wasn't a problem. Myself and Meghan agreed to act it out for them.

The result... a hilarious rendition of our favourite and most hated parts of the book and many, many cries of "it's ok, because I'm a feminist!"

Now don't get me wrong, I'm as likely to swoon over a handsome man in a suit as the next girl. But then, I don't pretend to abhor the idea of marriage, children or shared partnership. (It would certainly be an awkward conversation with my husband and kids if I did.)

The character of Liya Thakkar claims she doesn't want to marry, doesn't need a man in her life, and isn't at all sure about the idea of kids. And yet before you know it she's falling (quite literally) all over a man and being overwhelmed by his manly good looks and abs. She ignores his frankly stalkerish qualities and the way he insists on knowing all about her past traumas while refusing to open up about his own. She gets drawn into his family and is suddenly holding a baby and thinking things like"damn everything if my ovaries weren't actually rumbling".

But it's ok because... she's still a feminist! Just not the kind that I want to read about.

The final result

If you're looking for an easy and relatively fun read then by all means give this book a go. I'm not a big fan of the characters, but plenty of others are. The romance elements are fun and it does have some good banter and tension between the main characters.

This book should come with a trigger warning for mentions of sexual abuse.